Why Vermont?

“Why Vermont?” is what I’m asked the most. I have two major reasons: money and happiness. With several other more nuanced reasons ranging from politics to air quality. There are many spreadsheets and maps involved.

Are you SURE?

No. But that’s who I am. The only thing I’m 100% certain of is that I’m never 100% certain.* Look, I’m not sure about anything in life, and I’m OK with that. What’s important for my happiness and long-term success is trying. If I continue to live my life renting in suburbia, living paycheck to paycheck, and settling for compensation less than my worth, I will die by the time I’m 50. Not death by suicide, but death from a stroke or heart attack or go into a diabetic coma. I’m certain I don’t want that to happen.**

*With a reasonable degree of certainty.
**I’m 100% sure.

What about your job?

Howdy, co-workers! I miss y’all!

I’m very fortunate to have a company that has allowed me to work remotely. They value me and what I can provide for the company. About what I said above, “settling for compensation…”, this isn’t a work problem. This is a “me problem”. I am compensated fairly for what work I do. I am rewarded with a raise based on my merit and not my tenure. I know my worth for my job title.

The “me problem” is that I put all of my time and all of my energy into someone else’s idea. I am a company’s biggest cheerleader and supporter. I will come in when I’m told, leave when I’m told, not get sick, never call out, do as I’m told in the time given to me. I will say yes to any task assigned to me without much question. Until… depression hits me and I do the exact opposite. Sabotage. I don’t value myself.

I’m sure some of my co-workers have heard me give them little pointers on how to capitalize on their skills. I know it’s all advice you never asked for and I know it gets old and boring listening to me say “Add it to your resume!”, but seriously, add it to your resume. Value your personal time as much as a CEO values their worth to their company. You deserve it. Do nothing for free!

So now I’m following my own advice. One day, with the help of my company, I will be worth more than an Olympic-sized pool of guacamole.

What about Larry?

If you really want to know about Larry, reach out to him.

He’ll be fine. He bought his own home in Chandler. We grew up to be two very different people with many common bonds. We both recognize this and know our futures are brighter apart. We’re still going to be BFFs though! Matching Pink Floyd tattoos in Vegas 2022!! Classy.

And Ken?

If you really want to know about Ken, reach out.

Who is Ken?

Ken is Payge. They are non-binary, prefer the name “Ken”, and prefer the pronouns they/them/their, but will respond to any pronouns.

How do you feel about it?

Fine. Normal. It’s whatever. I already used the non-gendered “child” to tell people I had/have a child. It’s more formal than “kid”. Child calls me “Mother” and Larry “Father”. We don’t do it for some weird societal dialogue; we use it as loving alternatives to Mom and Dad or Mommy and Daddy. Or Daughter. Or Son.

The thing that bothers me is the name. KEN! Pft. I would have never picked a gender-neutral name of Ken. Also, Payge is named after Jimmy Page… a dude… so like…. close enough? No? Ok. Ken is also like, some sort of bizarro 50’s SWM name. Like a dude that comes home drunk, smacks his wife across her face, and belts the kids before bed to release his emotions instead of talking about it. You know… Ken!

I’m sure I had a few gender-neutral names on my baby name list. Lemme pitch a couple to you! Sage/Sayge(?!) - Ya know Payge with an S and a negative energy cleanser. Mac/Mak/Mack - That’s a cute name! So cute. Rory - Lol. jk. Quincy - Adorable name! Quinn for short! Jade/Jayde(?!) - Why be a Jaiden/Jayden/Jaidon/Jaidan/Jaydon/Jaydan/Jadehn/Jadon/Jaidin/Jaydin/Jaedon/Jaedin/Jaeden/Jaedan… when you can be a Jade? (Sorry Jaiden, we can blame your mother together.) Can I call you K.G., but in my mind I’ll know I'm saying Cagey?

Can I come too?

To stay? No. To visit? Sure. Give me a few months, please. Ideally, I’ll have a guest house or studio cabin set up to accommodate visitors.

Do you want [item/furniture/kitchen supplies/towels/bedding]?

Thank you, but most likely, no. I’m moving on a minimal budget. Most of our belongings are being donated or tossed before we go to fit in two small container units. I appreciate the offer.

Do you want [money/gold/bitcoin/kugarands]?

Yes… yes, I do. I promise to invest it wisely into home and land upgrades. I’ll provide you a receipt of purchase!